It hurts... and I'm being a baby!

Yep, I'm being a baby. Let me whine. Leave me to it and don't tell me to suck it up. I want my pity party and I shall have it! Then I'll be done and move on. It's how I deal. My car, my sweet late model red minivan-- I call her big bertha (she's huge)-- I was driving along, after dropping Matt off at the airport, and I was thinking, I should really trade her in, now that gas prices are bearable, I really want my big SUV, I love the extra room in the trunk. So my jogger fits right in without any shuffling. Pack everything I need for the beach. Fit an extra person in for whatever reason... you know, I just want an SUV, I was spoiled by my Jeep, and I miss it... I want an SUV. So, I was thinking, right ow is the time to buy..,. prices are way low, incentives WAY high... it would be nice to get one. SO, I was thinking, my car is so cute and in relatively good condition... I bet I could fetch about $10K on it... adorable little thing. (big thing)

My next thoughts, as I am leaving the airport, I should really go get a new power adapter for my computer, I can't live w/o the computer while Matt is gone, and it's a business write off anyway, so I'll head to the apple store. I thought, hmm... I will go pick up Anthony (a friend from church, he's like a little brother to Matt and I), he can chill in the car with the kids while I run in and run out, and I'll buy him some Starbucks as a treat. The kids love Ant (my nickname for him), that would be perfect. Then I realize, he's probably got a lot of work to do at church and the pastors might not appreciate my taking him away for a half an hour. SO, I did what I didn't really want to do. I called my mom. "Mom can you watch the kids long enough for me to run to the Apple Store? I'll go there and then run right back, no stops between." She said sure, but I knew she was tired. I felt so bad asking... but I did not want to take ALL THREE into the Apple store, expecially when I did not have my double stroller with me. So, I dropped them off with mom, and I drove out to Short Pump Town Centre to the Apple Store. Ran in, got my power adapter, ran straight through Nordstroms, with blinders on, though I REALLY wanted to stop and look at handbags! Got in my car and headed for hom, quite proud of myself, because I knew I'd be home by 5:15, plenty of time for Mom to get herself fed and get to church for choir. I decide to take the "shortcut" by the cinema to the stoplight, avoiding the Broad Street Road traffic. This shortcut has FOUR stop signs and isn't even half a mile long! I stop, I go. I stop, I go. I stop. I take my foot off the brake, ready to go and I SCREAM, as my back tightens up and I hear a crack and my car lurches. It took a whole 2 seconds for me to process what has just happened. I put my foot back on the brake, and I think ... Was I just hit? I look in the rear view mirror and realize, that is EXACTLY what happened. I've never been hit before, panic set in BIG time. I didn't know what to do next. I was shaking.

OK Lisa, but the car in park. OK Lisa, *grumbling, trying not to curse, sending out a few mother F --without the last three letters, good girl* Get out of the car, more grumbling, some whimpering, I think I recall looking at the guy who hit me and saying, Why did you do this to me? Still shaking, get the cell phone, turn the car off, shut the door, look at the damage. Oh boy, worse than I thought. Bumper is cracked all the way across the back, back door smooshed in and down. Call mom, sister answers Dee I was in an accident, gotta go. Hang up, call nonemergency police number-- Firemen on the way (his car was leaking fluid). Hang up, call my insurance company, all the while exchanging info with the guy who hit me and realizing he used to be my trainer at the gym. I tell my company I'm filing the claim with HIS company since it was his fault that I was hit. He is perfectly OK with that. Call his insurance, file claim, chat w/ fireman. He says I wouldn't let my wife drive this home, you can't know what happened under the car, I'd get it towed. Still on phone with his insurance. Police arrive. Can't do anything about it because it is on private property, obvious what happened, but no ticket, which was fine by me, it was an accident plain and simple. Officer called two trucks for both of us. Officer stayed with us while we filed our claims. Officer left. We were in a parking lot, his ride arrived, I still didn't know if anyone was coming to get me. Matt texted while this was going on, saying he was on the plane about to leave. I texted back, I was in an accident. No response. I get back in touch with my family and ask if someone can please come get me. I remove car seats, then realizing they need to be replaced as now their safety/integrity has been compromised. BUT, I have no choice, the kids have to have something to ride in. I cry a lot. I try not to, because I didn't want to make Doug feel worse than he already did. Back really tense, pretty sore, but everything moves, so I think I'm OK. Tow truck comes and gets big bertha and off she goes... by car! I realize my strollers are in the car (my umbrellas, not the jogger)-- I cry some more, but just silently. Make small talk with Doug and his father as we wait for my family to arrive. They wouldn't leave me until they knew I had a ride. My sister picks me up. We head home. I'm tired and emotional. Matt calls. I wasn't very nice. I wasn't in the mood. I am still not in the mood. This is all on me, I'm not happy about that.

Yesterday, filled with attempts at getting things moving... not great. Got Maegan to school. Called Jeni, asked if she'd watch the 2 little ones, she said yes. drop them off with Jeni and I go to Patient First. Start having xrays of my neck and the xray machine breaks... it's the kids nap time, they let me leave, pick up kids get them down for nap. Try and figure out how to get to another Patient First to get xrays, gotta figure out how to get the rental, gotta get to 4 pm appointment with adjuster... Not gonna happen. Mom says she will help. Mom has her own crisis. 4pm comes and goes, no new xrays, no meeting, no car. 4:30, call Daddy beg him to help. He says no problem come get me. Get the kids ready and then Mom says she can do it. We head to the door and sister shows up. She keeps Maegan, we take Wils and Mia with us. I get my rental minivan-- it's similar to big bertha, but it's not the same, I miss my car. Mom takes the kids home, I head to Patient First... xray machine, still down. I get gas head to mom's house, call insurance guy, reschedule for today at 5pm. Am so tired. Have to go to a jewelry party with mom... had a nice time, good short escape. Bring kids home, line up a babysitter for today, so I can get to Patient First and try again. Sister says she'll keep kids for the 5pm meeting. Kids to bed everyone asleep by 8:30. Phone rings, ignore it, phone rings, ignore it, phone rings, ignore it, am in bed, not going to get up for anyone or anything (except the kids if need be)-- asleep by 10:30.

Now it is today. I'm doing housework. Mia has learned to climb the stairs. Have her in jail, she's not happy. I'm tried and sore. I want to sleep. I want to wake up and this never happened. Matt due home at midnight. He's taking a cab... this after I'd already arranged to have someone sit at the house with the kids. Canceled sitter. Will just chill here. Bed by 10:30 again, that felt good.

OK back to sweeping, vacuuming and laundry, just because I'm sore, doesn't mean housework stops.