What is it with me?!?

Why don't I want regular food at meal time? I normally LOVE a good salad. A sandwich is always a good lunch option. A platter of chicken and rice and veggies is a staple. Turkey burgers, coleslaw, baked beans and corn is another great option. DO I want any of that??? NO! What do I want? Salt and Vinegar chips, ice cream, slurpees, bagels w/ cream cheese, tomato and red onion, soda, cookie dough, yogurt covered raisins, dried fruit, honey mustard chicken snack wraps from McD's (I normally HATE McD's), Chicken biscuit from McD's, and honestly, there is not much more that appeals to me. Seriously, an Italian Water Ice would be so delicious right now. I'll force myself to eat some cereal here in a few moments, even though I don't want it. I need the vitamins in it. Maybe for lunch I'll treat myself to a snack wrap. We'll see. I'll force myself to eat salad for dinner tonight. I think we might have to go to Costco tonight, so I can get a rotisserie chicken... and I can shred that and put it over a salad... and while that does NOT sound good to me in the least, I know that I'll enjoy it once it is on my plate. And my kids will enjoy that and some stuffing and veggies (well Wils will, Maegan hates stuffing).

I don't even enjoy sitting at the table to eat. I can't stand seeing other people eating. I've never been like this. It's so bizarre. Friday night, we are going out with Mr. Perfect's parents. We are celebrating the Princess' 4th birthday. I can't believe it! Anyway, I think we are going to Famous Daves, and I have NO IDEA what I will attempt to eat while there. Just thinking about it makes my stomach turn.

Junk food sounds delicious right about now. Actually, right this second, I'd LOVE some yummy hot peach tea with a scone of any sort! Oh that sounds divine! mmmmmm Why don't we have a freaking DRIVE THROUGH STARBUCKS!?! Is that really too much to ask? They have them everywhere, but in my town! Grrrrrrrrrrrr... I should have asked Mr. Perfect to run by there and get me some tea and a scone. Duh! Why don't I think of these things until he's left for the day?

I wonder if I could get my Dad over here to watch Maegan while Wils naps and I could run and get something! Probably wishful thinking. He's probably up to his eyeballs trying to do something.

I just wish I liked normal foods again. And that I enjoyed meal time with my family. I sit at the table and feed Wils, but I can't eat while I feed him, it just makes me ill. Last night I had to eat while standing up looking out the window. This seems so odd to me. I was not like this with the last two. If anything, we'd go out to dinner and I'd order EVERYTHING on the menu. I wouldn't eat it (I'd give it to Mr. Perfect)... but at least I wanted to eat good foods, and not just junk.

Someone pass the cheddar puff corn!