Disappointment

It's all a part of life. Disappointments come and you live through them. Today, I was crushed. Yesterday we looked at the perfect house for our family. I walked in the house and immediately felt at home. I loved the smell of the house, I loved the warmth of the house. I loved the space in the house. I loved the backyard for my children. I loved the neighborhood. It was exactly where I wanted to be. Needless to say, we submitted a contract on the spot. Of course, our house still hasn't sold. So, we have to submit a first right. That just means that the deal is sealed once we get a contract on our home. But, it also means that a better contract can come in, and they can accept that contract and give us a certain amount of time to sell our house or our contract becomes null and void.

I received the call just before 8pm tonight. Our contract was rejected. Another full price offer came in and they had no house to sell. The owners had to go with that one. I fully understand. I would do the same. However, it is still so crushing. My heart is just broken, as I could totally picture my little princesses and prince growing up there. It was across the street from friends of my parents.

I'm not sure what God is trying to tell us. I feel like we need to just take our house off the market. It seems like this is just not "our" time. I really did not want Maegan to start school in the elementary school for our area. There is nothing wrong with it, and it is nearly brand new... but it just isn't where I want her to be. I'm just deflated. I still fully believe that all of the disappointments will be worth it, when we find what it is God has planned for our family. It feels horrible now, but I know it won't feel this way forever, and that when God's plan is revealed these terrible feelings will be far away. I know God knows that even in my disappointment, that I truly want we HE wants for our family. However, keeping the house on the market is stressing me out. I think it's time to just let it go, stop the searching and just be settled for a while.

I'm not sure what else there is to do at this point. Maybe I'll have a party. We just got a new kitchen table. Well, it isn't new... it's actually the dining room table I ate at every Friday night in the 80's. It's the dining room table where I did my homework after school on many occasions. It's the dining room table that belonged to my Maemie and Poppy (Maemie is who Maegan is named for). I now have a piece of my Maemie and Poppy in my possession! This is precious to me. I need to recover the seat cushions. I think it's time to repaint my kitchen and I'm thinking of seeing if I can have a microwave put in above my range. I also want my bathrooms updated. New vanity/cabinet, and cool mirrors and light fixtures. These changes aren't super expensive and they will really change the look in the bathrooms. I'd really like the floors updated to dura-ceramic as well. You know, if we are going to stay here a while, might as well make it something we enjoy living in.

So, this wasn't the house, even if it was perfect for us. God's timing is EVERYTHING, and we just need to let Him tell us when the time is right. I think what I'm feeling the worst about, at the moment, is all the money that our agent has gone to in listing our house, advertising, etc. I hate telling her to take it off the market. I do think that is the right thing for us to do, however.